Suicidal

Have you ever felt it?

I have it since high school. I didn't fit in with the classmates and they often picked me as the target of their bullying. At that moment I wished I hadn't been born. I wished that sky would fall down on me. I wished for the earth to crack open and devour me.

I took pills but it didn't work. I got stomachache and kept puking for few days. I got a stomachache and puked for a few days. Then I was thinking about cutting my wrists but was too scared to do it. I Also had the idea to jump from a high floor but didn't have the guts.

Years passed but I still have these feelings when I get depressed.