Life After A Failure

Many books, talk shows, or workshops are talking about how to be successful or how to build habits that will lead to a successful life. So far, I haven't seen anything about life after a failure. People prefer not to talk about embarrassing things. After lost count of how many failures I've made. I would like to share some helpful points to keep going on with your life.

1. Except yourself. Everybody fails. You are not the first person that fails and won't be the last either. A failure isn't the end of your life. Unless you decide to end your life by suicide.
2. Analyze. Note down every important point that contributes to your failure. Every failure is a lesson to gain in experience. Make a comparison to another person that has successfully achieved the same goal as you. Analyze every point that contributes to his/ her success. Learn it and use it for your next attempt. If you are sick of trying, you should skip this point.
3. Indulge yourself. Take a break from your daily life. Do whatever you like! Pursue your hobbies. If you don't have a specific hobby, do an activity that makes you happy. Make a beautiful memory of yourself. After some time, you'll say, "Been there, done that" to yourself. I won't explain it further. You know what it is.
4. Make a short term goal. A short term goal is a practical goal and effortless to achieve. For instance, saving $1 of your salary is effortless. After some time it will amount to something.
5. Write a book. I think I should publish a book about this topic after writing all those four points above. I could charge you some money for it but I share these points for free because I am generous.

I am a failure. I except myself and keep going on with my life. Take a moment to reflect your life. A failed attempt is worth a while of your effort. It directs you where to go. I hope you have the time of your life.

What Would You Say?

A woman recently wrote a heartbreaking confession in the counseling section of a magazine that I read.

She was raped shortly after being wed. The rapist was her sister-in-law's husband. Her husband was being treated at a hospital and her sister-in-law was at the hospital to visit him at that time. The woman told her sister-in-law about the incident. Her sister in law asked her forgiveness and begged her not to disclose this to their families and relatives. She was heartbroken because no one stood beside her. Not even her husband. Her husband and her sister in law prefer to save themselves from embarrassment.

Shortly after, the woman was pregnant and gave birth to a son. Her sister in law adopted the woman's son as an act to redeem her husband's bad deed. Two decades later, the son is aspiring to be a pastor and is studying at a seminary now. The woman's heart wound hasn't healed. She is longing for her son to recognize her as his biological mother. Up until now, her son knew her as his aunt. The rapist has grown old, weak, and sick. She has been distant with her husband since that incident.

In that article, she is asking how to tell her son about the truth and what would be the best way to tell her son.

If I was her counselor, I would suggest her to take the truth to the grave for her son's good sake. It's cruel but it would be the best. Any sane mother would love to be recognized by her own flesh and blood but telling the truth might make the son hate the origin of his existence. He might also think that God has destined him to be a pastor as a redemption of his biological father's deed. Not because of his pure love of God . Moreover his son has many years in his life to come but the woman has reached her old age. The truth might hurt her son for the rest of his life.

What would you say if you were the counselor of that article?

My Salary

I earned little salary when I started my career. It was only enough to eat. Fortunately, I stayed with my parents and rode dad's car to office.

I moved to Jakarta two years later. My salary was doubled but I wasn't financially independent. My salary was only enough to pay half the rent, food, and transportation. I couldn't save. I wanted higher salary.

I moved to other company two years later. My salary is doubled and I financially independent. I can save and I live a better life, but I want higher salary. I want to separate emergency money from saving and I want to allocate some money for investment.

Humans never get enough money.

I should grow some money from a tree.

Story of Food

Food fulfills your hunger, nourishes your body, and restores your stamina. Food tells story too. Throughout history, Indonesia has been involved in trade with many foreigners, such as India, the Middle East, China, and Europe. These contacts influence Indonesian cuisine and assimilate with local dishes.
 
Indian and Middle Eastern incorporate curried meat and vegetables, goat and lamb dishes, as well as yogurt based sauces. Though coconut milk has replaced the using of yogurt. Elements of Chinese cuisine can be seen in Shumai (dim sum), Bakpao (steam buns with various fillings), Bakmi (noodles), Bakso (meat balls), and Lumpia (shrimp roll). The Chinese originated dish, Fried Rice, has been adopted as Indonesian national dish. Europeans introduced cassava, potato, cauliflower, cabbage, peanuts, tomato, corn, and chili pepper to Indonesian cuisine.

These various dishes reflect the complex cultural history of people who live on the archipelago that make up the modern nation of Indonesia.

Kittens Rescue

My neighborhood is surrounded by stray cats. I like to take home sick kittens to treat their illness. Most kittens are overly ill and died few days later. My cat is the only kitten that grows to adulthood.

A kitten made a way to my house. It was raining. He was wet, cold, thin, and had droopy eyes. I wanted to adopt him but I don't have a space for two cats. So, I decided to nourish him before releasing him. I bath him everyday because he has thick layer of fleas. After a few days, his eyes are getting better but he's still thin.

This noon, when I checked how he was doing, his box was empty. The housemaid said, that he went to the veranda, jumped from the second floor, and escaped through the front gate.

Ramen Girl

Two weeks ago, Abby came to Tokyo to live with her boyfriend. After a brief reunion, her boyfriend left her. Broken hearted, Abby consoles herself at a small ramen shop near her apartment, where she finds her new life and love. This movie has a good morale. When you see a hardship ahead, that means your new life awaits you.

At first, I was irritated by Abby because of her ignorance of other people’s culture. Furthermore, she can’t understand Japanese after one year living in Tokyo. I started liking her when I saw her persistence in studying ramen cooking.

Okuribito

Daigo is a cellist of an orchestra. He returned to his hometown to search for a new job after the dissolution of the orchestra. He landed himself on a bizarre job as a postmortem caretaker. He disliked his job, but eventually came to love his new profession, when he found fulfillment. He restores the cold dead bodies to their beauty. He assists the family of the deceased to have one last beautiful moment to cherish. The most important thing in funeral is, not to mourn the departure of the deceased, but to celebrate the deceased life.

A couple years ago, my grandfather died just a few days before my birthday because of heart attack. My maternal relatives don't have the custom to call a postmortem caretaker. I was terrified when my mom told me to kiss my grandfather's cheek. I was close with him when I was a child. Even though I became distant with him in my teenage years, I will celebrate the memories I had with him.

Forever.

My Association with My Religion

I studied in a christian school all my life. Christian teachings were like my daily bread. My christian teacher taught about how superior christian faith is, Christians are the chosen ones, how pathetic an atheist is, and claimed that atheists always repent to christian faith on their deathbed. I didn't realized how prejudice these teachings were.

For a brief moment, I assisted a Sunday school at a local church in my hometown. TThe teacher told her pupils that dinosaurs didn't exist because they were not in the bible. Of course, they aren't there because at the time when the bible was written, dinosaurs hadn't been discovered yet.

A Christian believes in a self prophecy. What comes out of one's mouth impact one's life. I call it a tell-a-lie prophecy. What's the point of telling anybody, that you have something you don't currently have.

A Christian is self centered. I have a Buddhist roommate. My Christian roommate mocked her behind her back, saying that my Buddhist roommate is praying to a false god and everytime she lights her incense, she invites bad spirits.

Christianity is part of the identity I grew up with, but I don't want any association with those I mentioned above.

Palaeocontact

Yesterday, I watched a video from History Channel on Youtube. It unfolds evidences, the theory supporters explanation, and the skeptics contradiction of the palaeocontact theory.

Palaeocontact is a theory, that human has been in contact with aliens since ancient time. The alien came to earth to assist human to advance their technology. Ancient human recognized the aliens as gods.

The theory itself is debatable and the, so called proofs, are generated from archeological excavations. The skeptics label the supporters of the theory as delusional.

I personally believe that extra terrestrial DOES exist. It could be true that the ancient gods were, in fact, aliens. I am open to this possibility. In the middle ages, when Copernicus said that earth is not flat and the sun is the center of our solar system, all scholars said he was delusional and absurd. Look at it now. We believe that the earth is round and it revolves around the sun.

The video can be watched at this channel.
http://www.youtube.com/user/2012IHC

My Relationship with My Parents

I lived with my mom almost half of my lifetime because my dad was away to work from city to city. He came home only on holidays, or when he was assigned in my hometown. He spoiled my with money whenever he was at home. I respect him, when I knew, that he had to sacrifice his time at home to support me and mom.

I am closer to my mom even until this time, but our relationship is not always smooth. At some points in my life, she was over control, and I hated her. In the end of the day, I realized, she did what a mother must do. My father often plays as a mediator to make up the relationship between me and my mother better. When I lost my temper, my mom always takes it patiently.

I am the only child in my family. Eventhough my parents aren't rich, they will do to help me to achieve my goals. Sometimes, I feel like an unuseful child, because I haven't been able to give back anything significant for them.

Mom, dad...

I will work harder and make you proud!

Learning Kanji and Kana

I can write Hiragana's 五十音, 拗音, 五十音濁点, 拗音濁点 by hand. On the contrary I almost can't do it with Katakana. Katakana is more difficult than Hiragana, that's why! I have to put more effort for Katakana! 

I have started to learn kanji. I can write from 一 to 十. I learn it by myself by using an online site. I study  romaji only at a language school.

I'm taking a break from the school. I want to surprise my teacher with my kana and kanji ability when I start the class again!