As foreword I don’t know if the subject above will be the proper title for this posting bellow. I hope it will be the proper representation of what I am going to share here. I am not a good storyteller neither a native english speaker. Therefore I will use mix language, Indonesia and English, for this posting. I do hope my readers get the essence of what I am going to say.
Apa sih gender itu? Apa sih kodrat itu? When I was a student, my teacher described what gender means. Gender is not sex (jenis kelamin). That’s what I remember. Gender menyangkut peran sosial seseorang yang dibentuk di masyarakat. As example a woman should be at home. She should serve her husband and be a good housewife.
On the other side kodrat adalah takdir yang kita bawa dari lahir. Another example we can’t choose to be born as a female or male baby. We can’t choose our sex. If we could, there would be no shemale and operasi ganti kelamin bakal jadi komoditi tak laku. Second example only woman is able to give birth, menyusui, having monthly periodical cycle.
The two above are still warming up before we heading to the point of my tought. Here we go.......
One day I read an article on a newspapers. A lady who writes that article said that marriage, being a mother, and bla bla bla is a woman’s faith –– I do hope this word, faith, will be the proper translation of “kodrat”. I don’t find the exact word from my indonesia-english dictionary. Aku dibuat gusar oleh kata-kata dalam artikel itu tadi. Hello lady who writes that article!!!!! To marry or not to is our life option. Choosing a decision to marry or not is an option of life. It seems that this lady has been influenced, may be poisoned, by an ancient prehistorical opinion which says, “semua orang dilahirkan berpasangan dan HARUS menikah”. Jadi kalau seseorang tidak menikah maka masyarakat menganggap ada yang salah dengan dirinya. Ada yang kurang dengan dirinya. Ada apa-apa dengan dirinya dan bla bla bla sehingga dia tidak punya pasangan hidup. Masyarakat menganggap orang yang tidak punya pasangan hidup is a miserable and pathetic person. Dia akan melewati hari tuanya dengan kesepian dan kesengsaraan. Dia akan melewati hari tuanya di panti jompo dan tidak ada seorangpun dari anak/ cucu/ sanak saudaranya yang akan mengunjungi dia di akhir pekan karena dia tidak pernah menikah.
Menurutku menikah atau tidak adalah sebuah pilihan hidup. Jika aku bisa hidup lebih bebas dengan tidak menikah maka lebih baik I am staying single. Jika keadaan keuanganku bisa lebih baik dengan tidak menikah maka lebih baik aku tetap single. Menurutku hidup dalam pernikahan memerlukan biaya 2x lebih besar daripada hidup single. Wong yang hidup di satu atap ada 2 orang bukan satu. Apalagi kalo punya anak. Whuah!!!!! Habis tuh duit buat sekolah, makanin anak, biayain pengeluaran buat anak, apalagi kalo anaknya udah kenal cinta. WOOOOOW!!!! Tuambaaaaaah gedeeeeee!! Mending uang ditabung buat keliling dunia.
Dunia ini begitu luas. Kenapa harus menetap dan tinggal di satu tempat? Begitu banyak orang yang bisa ditemui di dunia ini. Banyak hubungan yang bisa dijajaki dengan banyaknya orang di dunia ini. Jadi kenapa harus hidup terikat dengan satu orang? Sampe mampus lagi!! “Till death do us apart”, begitu katanya. Jika aku bisa bertemu dengan 100 orang dalam satu hari kenapa aku harus menemui satu orang saja. Orang yang sama sampai salah satu dari kami meninggal. Membosankan.
Sebetulnya ini dari hidup melajang adalah meraih lebih banyak kesempatan dalam hidup karena dirimu tak dibatasi oleh aturan-aturan pernikahan. Inti melajang adalah kebebasan. Menikah bukanlah takdir yang digariskan Tuhan untuk manusia. Itu adalah pilihan hidupmu dan aku.
“Tapi kan di kitab suci dikatakan Tuhan menitahkan kita untuk beranak cucu dan bertambah banyak dalam jumlah dah bilangan.” Begitu sanggahmu.
“Iya!”, jawabku cepat. Aku melanjutkan, “Dulu kan jaman manusia masih sedikit. Cuma ada Adam dan Hawa aja kan?”. “Kalo misalnya hanya mereka berdua aja yang mengelola dunia ini kan kecapekan merekanya. Wong dunia begini luas. Lagian kalo mereka meninggal siapa yang akan melanjutkan pengelolaan dunia ini kalo bukan anak cucu mereka yaitu kita.”
“Mungkin Tuhan harus menciptakan manusia generasi kedua setelah Adam dan Hawa mati,” celetukmu.
Aku tidak anti menikah. Sungguh. Aku hanya belum memikirkan kearah sana. Being a single has not been my final decision. I have no traumatic love story which makes me to think this way. I surely not have. I only think that being a single will give me alot opportunity rathen than being a married woman. Currently I am open to any possibility of relationship. Bisa saja aku menikah. Bisa saja tidak.
Bagiku menjadi single sekarang membantuku fokus terhadap karir yang sedang aku bangun. Aku tidak punya masalah dengan patah hati sekarang ini. Heart broken will be fatal distraction for my career pursuing. I am grateful for that. I am grateful kalo aku punya waktu-waktu yang menyenangkan dan gila with my male and female friends.
Menikah seharusnya menjadi pilihan yang membahagiakan bagi yang memilihnya. Berstatus single seharusnya menjadi keadaan yang membahagiakan bagi yang masih mencari tambatan hati dan menjadi single semestinya menjadi pilihan yang membahagiakan bagi memilihnya. Menjadi single bukanlah kutukan. Menurutku menjadi single bukan status yang memalukan. Hello ladies out there it’s your choice whether to marry or not!
Marry or Not to Marry
Stench on Living Room
Arriving at home after back from office yesterday mom told me to clean up my cat urinal stain in living room. She added that she felt dizzy when she was in that room. We walked in to our house gate to our home. I put my working bag and I put off my jacket on computer seat on my bedroom. I had dinner with my parents. Afterwards I cleaned up the table then I stored the rest of the dinner to dining room oven. After that I washed the dishes. I didn't straightly do the living room. I was up to something.
I watched The Legend of The Condor Heroes on TV7. I watched it one full hour in my bedroom. During its commercial break I took an air refresher dispencer from the top of my studying table. I winded its lock and I took a canister spray from inside it.
I Sneaked out from my room to the living room. Meanwhile dad and mom were in the garage. Dad demonstrated a series of instructions for mom about operating her new Honda Jazz which just arrived that day. I sprayed a flower patterned long sofa in the room with a can that I held. I sprayed its seat quickly and straightly to its stench. I sprayed its stenchy pillow and the space around my standing feet where I could smell the stinky urinal odor.
I looked at my back several times. I was affraid mom or dad busted me in action. Mom would be damn pissed knowing the four legged uncivilzed one marking her living room couch. I set awaring alarm inside me to prevent her knowing. She only smelled stenchy odor from living room but she didn't know that it came from her couch.
Psss.........t!
I knew my pet pissing the sofa since 2-3 days ago. I knew that stain when it was wet mark. But I didn't do anything. At that time I thought air circulation would wipe its odor away. However detaching it from sofa needed more than air circulation.
Comfort Leads to Lazyness
I grow in small family member. There are only 3 persons in my house which are dad, mom, and I. Growing as the only kid makes me a single object of affection from my parents. They give what I want if they are able to fulfill my wish. They support my expenses until I am able to earn my own money. Since this month mom is educating me to afford my own expenses so that I can be more independent.
Deep in my heart I feel satisfied with my current life. I have a home as my shelter. I have my own small sized private room with air conditioner mechine. I have my cozy spring bed and a warm thick blanket to cover my body at night from cold air conditioner breeze while sleeping. I have dinner to eat every night. I have two cats. I have no worry about monthly bills such as electricity, house tax, water, and so on. My parents pay those every month. My parents are strong and healthy to afford my life some years to come.
I am prouding myself up to the sky when mom or dad picking me from the office with car. My head is up the sky if I can show my parents cars to my friends. My parents are in their wealthy condition. They are able to afford 2 cars credit bill. Toyota Inova and Honda Jazz VTEC. I look down and I see that my office friends don't have my luxury. I feel comfort. I love my life.
Last night dad said,
"When will you raise your spirit?"
"I didn't satisfied with my current life when I was at your age."
"I kept finding a way to raise our standard of living that's why I can achive all we have now." "Have you study the books that I give you?."
"Yes, still one book", I said.
"Make a time target so that you can finish all of them in short time."
I didn't say a word. I looked at the ceiling above my head.
Dad continued his sentences
"You never grow young. your age is alwys crawling up. Who will afford your life when dad and mom pass away if you do not step out from your comfort life."
"If you satisfy with your current salary, you will not be able to change your life."
"You will walk on spot forever.".
"Look at your mom! She has high learning spirit in her late age."
"She does every word that she says. You should inherit that spirit."
I spoke no words and he continued.
"Raise up your spirit!"
"Change your life!"
"You are still young. There are a lot of challenge in front of you. Face it!"
"If I were young, I would take the star but I am not young anymore. I'ts your turn to take that star."
I walked out from his bedroom and walking to my own. I kept thinking of his advice. I have to start study those book this night. It's a must!
Next time I want to apply a job which dad recommends me to. I want to change my life. I have to step out from this comfortness. I have step out from this demonic circle which leads me to lazyness. I have to achieve my 3 dreams.
Little Miki stole Toasted Fish from Dinning Table
I went home with my mom this day, 28th June, since I asked mom to drive to my office. Mom took me home to prepare dinner and she went to a doctor to get prescription to remove her itch that she suffered for few days.
I did what she told me then I fed my cats. after feeding the cats I got shower and while I was in the bathroom, dad came home. He didn't straightly get shower like he does after getting home. I went to his room to brush my wet hair and I found that he was sitting in his bedroom reading several papers. Then I took a newspaper from our living room to my parent's bedroom. I sat on their bed then starting to open the newspaper. I read some lines when dad went out from the room.
Few seconds later I heard a ramming sound from our dining room, I know something is occur, and I heard that dad yelled calling my name. I saw that the diner veil was open and the toasted fish for dinner has been eaten half. Two big chunks of fish are dropped on the floor. I know who did this. It was little Miki. He is my little male white cat and he is very naughty for he loves to steal dishes from dining table. Feeding him isn't a guarantee that he won't steal dishes.
I cleaned those chunks and I give the other half to my dog and my other cat, he is the older brother of little Miki, when dad dines out. He didn't want to eat the dinner on the table although some are untouched by little Miki. After cleaning I clinched the table then taking the rest of our dinner to a frige. I saw little Miki went in to the house, He ran out from the house after stealing, then I grabbed his legged and I spanked him. He cried for mercy but I kept spanking. I spanked him alot.
After that I took him out then I closed the garage door and I let him on the yard.
I Have A Dream
By the age of 30 I will have my own car but I haven't settled what kinda car I want own.
I want drive around the city with it and listen to my favorite music.
I want drive out town with it and listen to my favorite music.
I want drive in the middle of raining day and listen to my favorite music.
I want drive at midnight and listen to my favorite music.
By the age of 30 I will have my own house. Little cozy one floored house with a pool in the big green and shady garden.
I want spend my spare time swimming in my private pool.
I want watch TV all night long and no one will tell me, "It is time to sleep turn off your TV!"
I want take my cat sleep in my bedroom and no one will tell me, "Don't do that or you will get sick!"
By the age of 30 I will have a lot of money.
I want travel around the world.
I want see beautiful places of the world.
I want see other wonders of the world beside Borobudur temple.
I want have dinner in an extravaganza restaurant.
I want retire young and enjoy all of my saving in a bank.
My Cat Pooped on My Sheet Twice!!!!
I discovered the first poop yesterday when I entered my bedroom i smelled "strange" smell. Then I turned my head to the bed and I saw a yucky poop!! Damn!
I Missed My Kitty!
I had 6 cats but 3 of them are missing and, this is the sadnest one, I abandonned 1 cat at the vet clinic by the order of my mom for shitting on mom's couch. It was my biggest lost! I cried several days for it. On the way to the vet clinic he begged to be released when he was put in my big bag. He torn the bottom of it during his struggle to get free. damn it! I wish I had my own house so that mom doesnt have any authority for me to do such thing abandonning my lovely cat. Well i dont have anything come to my head to tell now. This is it. Later on i'll tell more